Hey…you got a minute?
The new year always shows up talking about weight: what you should lose or what you need to fix. You wonder who you are supposed to be by now. Every year, I hear all that and think maybe that is not the weight we are meant to deal with first. Maybe this year is not about shrinking or correcting anything. Maybe it is about finally putting some things down, like the stuff that was never healthy to carry. Yet, we carry it anyway because we think that's what strength looks like.
Some of us are tired in ways sleep cannot heal. We’re tired of holding grief and still showing up like nothing happened. Tired of being dependable, agreeable, and available while quietly losing ourselves. Loss can change you, but surviving loss can as well. It awakens something in you. You begin to notice what drains you, what costs too much, and what no longer feels true to who you are now.
Healing begins to look like pushing forward and holding on to yourself tighter. You stop running away from all the things that are drowning you. Stepping back gives you time to sit with everything and see things with clarity. You begin to see who can sit with you in the quiet without needing explanations and who understands that silence is not rejection. Who can see that boundaries are not punishment or that love does not need to keep score. You begin to see who struggles with all of that.
In your transition, some connections may fall away, and it's not because you failed them in any way, but because you grew. That growth has a way of making some of those weights we carry unbearable. So, maybe this year, the loss is intentional. You start letting go of the guilt around something as simple as rest, the fear of disappointing people, and the grip on the expectations that others have of you without giving anything back. Funny how with all this new loss, you gain something so important; peace.
We often find ways to justify holding onto things, but some costs are too much. As the old adage goes, if it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.
Happy New YOU year! Love you. Mean it.
Onna B.
